My brothers used to threaten to burn my Little House books when I picked up Little Town on the Prairie to read for the twenty-third time. One brother drew body parts on my Raggedy Ann doll. The same brother would tie my Fisher Price Little People to paper napkins acting as some sort of parachute contraption and hurtle them to earth from the highest point of the backyard tree.
But I’m sure if they could have been as clever as this Onion piece, they’d have been overjoyed.