Downsizing With Adult Kids Still at Home: What Tri-Cities Parents Need to Know

Yes, you can downsize while your adult child is still living with you. And thanks to a recent change in Washington state law, you may have more options than you think, including smaller homes with a separate living space built right in for your kid(s).

Maybe your college graduate moved back in last year. Maybe your 26-year-old never really left. Whatever your situation, you’re in good company. About 15% of adults over 40 are currently living with an adult child who isn’t in school, according to the AARP.

Hi, I’m Cari McGee. I’ve helped more than 650 Tri-Citians buy and sell homes, many of whom were downsizing for one reason or another. This article is part of my ongoing series on downsizing in the Tri-Cities, and as I’ve mentioned before, it’s a topic that hits close to home. My husband and I are thinking about downsizing ourselves, and both of our adult kids still live with us. So all the questions you have and uncertainty you’re feeling? I know what it’s like!

This is Becoming a Common Situation

Multigenerational home buying just hit an all-time high, with 17% of all home buyers purchasing a multigenerational home, according to the National Association of Realtors.

Generation X buyers, often called the “sandwich generation” because they’re (we’re!) supporting aging parents and adult kids at the same time, bought multigenerational homes at a higher rate than any other generation: 21%.

Why is this happening? Cost savings is the number one reason, cited by 36% of multigenerational buyers. And when adult kids do stay home longer, most of them aren’t just crashing on the couch. Pew Research found that 65% of young adults living with a parent pay for groceries or utilities, and 46% contribute toward rent or the mortgage. That doesn’t line up with the old “kid living in the basement” stereotype. For a lot of families, it’s a true team effort.

Downsizing With Adult Children Still at Home

Your downsizing plans don’t have to sit on the shelf while you sort this out. You and your kids are already getting a taste of how multi-generational living works. Now you need to start figuring out what the next step looks like. Here’s some advice based on our experience at the McGee home, as well as my many conversations with clients who were going through this, too.

1. Start the conversation early

Give your adult child(ren) a heads-up, so they have time to react instead of finding out after the fact. We’ve already let our kids know that we’re thinking about downsizing. We’ve talked about where we might move within the Tri-Cities, and what to expect as things progress.

Some adult kids will be totally fine with it. Others might feel a wave of uncertainty about what it means for them. Talking about it early gives everyone room to adjust and ask questions.

2. Be honest about the money angle

Supporting adult kids who are living at home (even if they’re paying rent) makes it harder for you to pay your own bills, or make progress on your retirement goals. According to Pew Research data, 36% of parents who’ve helped an adult child financially say it’s put a strain on their own finances, too.

This is where downsizing can work in your favor. Moving into a smaller, more manageable home usually frees up equity and lowers your monthly costs, which gives a lot of my clients more breathing room to support their adult children who are living at home without sacrificing their own financial goals.

3. Understand your smaller-home options

A smaller home doesn’t have to mean zero privacy for anyone. I’m a big fan of home layouts where the primary bedroom is on one side of the house, and the other bedrooms are on the opposite side. Some of my clients look for a layout with a bonus room over the garage or a finished basement where their adult kid(s) can live. Others go a different direction entirely, which I’ll get to in a minute.

My point is, think now about what you want your next home to look like from a flow and floorplan point of view. What matters is finding a home that fits your life now, kids and all, even if it looks pretty different from the home you bought fifteen years ago.

4. It’s okay to feel a bit conflicted

You can be excited about a smaller, easier home and feel a little guilty about it at the same time. I hear from parents who worry that downsizing sends the wrong message to their kids, like they’re being pushed out. In my experience, that’s rarely how it plays out. Most adult kids understand that their parents’ home doesn’t have to stay the same size forever just because they’re still living in it.

Is an ADU Part of the Answer?

If you haven’t heard of an accessory dwelling unit, or ADU, don’t worry, most people haven’t. Freddie Mac found that 71% of consumers had no idea what an ADU was until someone explained it to them!

An ADU is basically a small, separate living space on the same property as your main home. It’s usually independent of the primary home and has its own entrance, along with basics like a kitchen and bathroom. But some homes have ADUs that are attached, too.

ADUs are becoming a popular option for families who are downsizing with adult kids still at home. Among homeowners interested in building one, 19% said they’d use it to move family in permanently with a rent arrangement, and another 18% said they’d use it for family to stay temporarily, no rent required. Freddie Mac itself lists “more space for multigenerational households” as one of the main reasons homeowners build one.

Here’s why this matters for you as a Tri-Cities homeowner: Washington’s HB 1337, passed in 2023, requires cities that plan under the state’s Growth Management Act, which includes Kennewick, Richland, and Pasco, to allow at least two ADUs per lot. The law also removed owner-occupancy requirements in many cases and capped ADU impact fees at half of what’s charged on the primary home.

What that means in plain English: Building a smaller main home with an ADU on the same lot, or downsizing into a home that already has one, is now a legally-supported option here in the Tri-Cities. It’s one way to get the smaller, lower-maintenance home you’re after while still keeping your adult child, or aging parent, close by with their own space.

The permitting and construction side of an ADU isn’t something I handle directly, and the specifics vary by city and lot. But if needed, I’m glad to point you toward local resources or talk through whether it makes sense for your situation.

Where to Find Tri-Cities Homes with ADUs

If that option sounds intriguing, I’ve got you covered — even if you just want to take a look at what these homes look like. Here are links to my home search site, Tri-CitiesHomes.com, where you can browse and click to your heart’s content:

• Kennewick Homes with an ADU
• Pasco Homes with an ADU
• Richland Homes with an ADU
• West Richland Homes with an ADU

Or if you prefer, see all of them together here: Tri-Cities Homes with an ADU. This link includes all four cities I listed above, plus Benton City and Burbank.

Let’s Talk Through Your Situation

Every family working through downsizing with an adult child still at home is dealing with their own version of this. There’s no one right way to do it.

If you’re ready for a no-pressure conversation about what downsizing could look like for your family, reach out anytime. Use my Contact Cari page to send me an email, call or text me directly at 509-430-5342, or use the TEXT US button to reach me right now.

-Cari

FAQs: Downsizing With Adult Children at Home

What should I look for in a smaller Tri-Cities home if my adult child will still live with me?

Look past square footage and pay attention to layout. For example, homes with a daylight basement can work well as a semi-private space with its own bathroom. Homes with a bedroom suite on the opposite end from the primary bedroom or a bonus room over the garage also give your adult child room to be independent without needing a bigger house. When we tour homes together, I’ll flag layouts like these so you’re not just looking at bedroom count.

Can I buy a Tri-Cities home with an ADU for an adult child or parent?

Yes, and there are two ways to go about it. Some Tri-Cities listings already have an ADU on the property, and I shared those links above to help you get started. The other option is buying a property with room to build one later. Either way, if financing is part of the picture, ask your lender early on how they treat a second dwelling unit, since that can affect your loan options.

What should families consider before building an ADU in Kennewick, Pasco, or Richland?

Washington’s HB 1337 sets a statewide floor, but each city still handles its own permitting, lot size rules, and setback requirements, so what’s allowed in Richland might look a little different in Pasco or Kennewick. Before you commit, check with that city’s planning department directly, and get a realistic sense of cost and timeline from a local contractor. I’m glad to point you toward the right city contacts if you’re exploring this.

Will downsizing help us financially if our adult child still lives at home?

It may. A smaller home can potentially lower your mortgage payments, utility costs, and property taxes — not to mention your time spent maintaining the house. But selling, buying, moving, and possible renovations also have costs, so make sure you look at the full financial picture to figure out if a move will improve your household budget.

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